Saturday, October 29, 2005

My Death

I saw myself on the verge of dying last night, well early this morning anyway. Of course I was dreaming but it was still pretty upsetting anyway. I was at work dealing my usual sloppy game of Roulette and everything was fine until I came back from my break. I got back on the table and realised that my hands would not function. They were twisted and stiff. Whether or not this is a reference to arthritis I don't know.
I tried to spin the ball but to a dismal effort as the ball just sunk into one of the numbers without making even half a revolution of the wheel. The dealer that I sent on their break, for some reason, was still standing behind me and took over for me when I broke down and cried. The players didn't care, the heartless pricks. I collapsed onto a nearby closed roulette table and started shaking violently, crying uncontrollably, trying hard as I could to pry my hands open. My supervisor came over to comfort me and try and calm me while the pit boss stood back saying that i'd be alright in a moment.
Is that where i was going to die? At work, dealing Roulette? I don't think so, although the life insurance payout is always greater for work related deaths so at least that's one good thing to come from this.
I looked at my hands that had turned almost transparent so that my bones were visible as a kind of spiderweb pattern through my fingers. I ran out of work and to my mother's old house where my sister and her friend Michelle were living, my dogs close behind jumping over bushes and fences.
I knocked on the loungeroom window with my deformed right club of a hand alerting my sister; her rushing to the front door seeing the pain, seeing me shake uncontrollably. I collapse onto the floor when she opens the door cradelling my head. She tries to call my mother on her phone but my mother is too busy having a good night with her one of her friends that she won't come to help.
I woke my girlfriend up with my crying which i do quite often when I dream. She, in turn, woke me up and I felt like shit. I was shaking after I was awake too.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

It's been a while

yeah, i know, it's been a while since i last posted because i'm so lazy and really don't have anything to say. if you're interested in knowing what i'm listening to at the moment just check out:

www.last.fm/user/drewe181

i just bought some new speakers for my computer so i've been listening to a hell of a lot of music again. it's only a 2.1 system but the sound is pretty awesome. lots of bass and no distortion when i crank them.

it feels quite good to be getting back into the whole music thing. i've been a bit lax for far too long now and have really lost touch with whats out there. there's a whole untapped goldmine of music that i 'm glad to be getting back into again.

tomorrow night is the eels concert in melbourne. i gotta work all day and don;t finish until 8pm. problem is, the show starts at 7 30pm. gonna miss the support band and maybe some of eels unless i can scoot outta work early. Friday night...no chance!!